Date Night Activity: Creating a Marriage Purpose Statement and Why It’s Important

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“Create a wha-huh?” I surely seemed to say, eyes round with the thought of the daunting task presented to Mitch and me.

Our pre-marital counselors, Eric and Jen, sat unblinkingly.

A marriage purpose statement. Due by next week” they explained. “And choose a marriage theme-verse.

We finished up, prayed, hugged goodbye and headed out on our mandatory post-session date.

“Ok, so where do we start?” we wondered out loud to each other in the car. “What is our purpose?” And that was the big question.

Date Night Activity: Creating a Marriage Purpose Statement and Why It's Important


Why a Purpose Statement is Important

Rather than entering marriage on a cloud, with no goal but to be in love and love being in love, we were forced to mesh out a clear purpose together.

We thought deeply about where we hoped to go and how we were going to get there.

Benefits of Creating a Marriage Purpose Statement

  • This lead us to clarify expectations and dreams, and then reach agreement in those areas. 
  • We now have goals to focus on rather than wandering our way through life and marriage. If you don’t know your purpose, it’s hard to live on purpose. (click to tweet)
  • We can more clearly hold each other accountable to the passions we expressed since we have them in writing.
  • There’s not much more rewarding than living on purpose. For real.

And it turned out to be a fun, high-quality, and bonding conversation.

It was surprisingly not hard to put our purpose into words once we got started. I’d say we created our marriage purpose statement in less than an hour.

Interested? Here are some practical helps to get you and your husband going on a marriage purpose statement of your own.


 Where to Start: Creating a Marriage Purpose Statement

1. Find a good, focused chunk of time between you and your husband. Perhaps a date night? Go on a picnic? Coffee shop?

2. Ask each other the following questions. Take notes. Let the discussion deepen.

  • What do we hope to accomplish together over the course of our marriage?
  • What do we feel called to “be about” together? To do?
  • How do we serve well together?
  • What are our top priorities in this marriage? What are God’s priorities for our marriage?
  • What are we doing well? How do we want to grow?

3. Look at your notes, and spend some time consolidating and prioritizing them.

4. Now put it in “purpose statement” form. Begin:

We, {state your names}, are committed to {insert your statement of purpose}.

It can be as short or long as you feel it needs to be.

5. Search scripture together for a verse that embodies or directs your defined purpose. Take as long as you need to do this. Perhaps even days or weeks. Then come back together and reach agreement on one marriage verse if possible.

6. Then type it all out, print it, frame it, and live by it.

Note: You may feel that your purpose changes over the years. It’s okay to re-craft a purpose statement as time goes by. You don’t have to take this purpose to your deathbed, so don’t be afraid to be specific if you want to be. This is merely meant to add intentionality to your day today. God’s purpose for your marriage may change in different seasons of life, but it’s also fun to see how much it doesn’t change.


 Our Marriage Purpose Statement

Here’s what we came up with five years ago. While our lives looks so different now, it’s fun to see how much this still rings true.

Our Marriage Purpose StatementOur marriage purpose statement is framed and hanging in our bedroom. We take it seriously. We refer back to it and talk about what we’re doing to fulfill those words around our anniversary each year, and any time we feel so inclined.

This week, plan a date for you and your husband and incorporate writing a marriage purpose statement together.

You can also purchase a marriage purpose statement printables as part of the “How to Plan a Marriage Retreat for Two!” eBook. This exclusive 13 page guide is available for a limited time only as part of the Strengthen Your Marriage Bundle.


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  1. Ashley says:

    I love this idea! I am trying to understand second question for the discussion part. Can you please explain it?

    • Sure! What I mean by that, is what do you and your husband want to be known for? What do you want to be doing (purposefully) with your lives together? How do you want to be characterized when others think about your marriage?

      Does that make sense?

  2. Christen says:

    Great idea! Hope to sit down with my husband and create this soon!

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