How to have a thriving marriage without expensive dates this Valentine’s Day


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Early in our dating relationship, my now-husband and I discovered the delight of asking one another questions.

I remember one long road trip we took together to visit family in Texas. We spent over six hours talking (which is pretty amazing if you know us), and learned so much!

Prior to the trip, we had come up with lists of questions to ask one other. It was fascinating. I remember having our first “issue” as a dating couple over the question, “Do you think it is a Christian’s duty to vote?” It turns out my husband is quite the patriot and did not *exactly* understand my, “Well, if I am committed to praying for the election I guess God will tell me whether or not I need to vote” sentiments. 🙂

The conversations were rich, and they set us up for not just a life of knowing each other, but a life of pursuing to know each other more.

To this day, we still come up with fun and serious questions to ask.

To this day, we still surprise each other with our answers.

I’m grateful that something so simple as time together and a list of questions can result in a deep, sweet, life-giving connection.

In Jen Wilkin’s Women of the Word she writes,

“the heart cannot love what the mind does not know.”

She’s making a case for knowing God, but in doing so, she uses a husband and wife as her prime example. She explains hat the more we know something or someone, the more love and appreciation we will be able to feel and have.

So, while fancy dates are fun, they are a far cry from a necessary ingredient to a happy, thriving marriage (thank goodness!)

And regardless of your childcare situation or date night budget, you don’t have to coast mindlessly in your marriage.

For most of us, we have the opportunity to connect with our spouses, right now, in our actual life. All it takes is time and intentionality. It takes a return to simplicity, and to what “in-love” people do: a seeking to know each other.

That’s why I’ve created 90 Date Night Questions for Christian Married Couplesand the Marriage Retreat (for Two) Planning Guide.

These guides, questions, and activities have been crafted to help you do just that: to find out something new about your spouse, to go deeper, and to have fun.

With Valentine’s Day coming up in just a few days, perhaps this is the perfect time to introduce a new tradition: the tradition of recognizing that there is more to learn about your spouse than what you currently know.

Click here to learn more: The Embracing a Simpler Life Marriage Bundle.

New to this community? Start here, friend.

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