Pressing Deeper Into Motherhood: How Having No Internet Revealed Closed Places of My Heart

Written by

A guest post by Sarah Behen at The Wholehearted Home.

Recently my family went eight weeks without the internet.

Yes, we lived for eight weeks in a temporary home with no internet while our home underwent repairs.

As the day approached for this eight week journey to commence, I felt itchy and unsettled. I just knew I would miss out on so much in that dark void of connection. But God is faithful and good, and now, on the other side of that time, I am incredibly thankful for it. God used it to change my heart in big ways. 

Ultimately, He changed my perception of motherhood and my work ethic around the home.

My Motherhood

As the days and weeks passed free from the pull of the internet, I found myself being fully present in my days. Seemingly little changes – like sitting with the kids at breakfast instead of on the couch checking emails – became big habit changes, and heart changes. And, without many toys in our temporary home, I was forced to do a lot more with my kids in general.

God opened my eyes to see that the allure of the internet was causing me to view my children as the distraction. I realized that the more I gave in to the pull of the online world, the hungrier my heart became for me and my needs, and the more I spent doing those very things.

However, by playing loads of puzzles over and over again, reading countless books, painting, taking big walks together, and, quite simply, spending all our time together, God showed me how much more I could be pressing into motherhood than I had been —how much more I wanted to be.

While down time and creative outlets are not bad things, God showed me that there is a deeper level of motherhood that He’s calling me into.

Earlier this year I re-read Sally Clarkson’s The Mission of Motherhood, along with Susan Schaeffer Macauley’s For the Children’s Sake. Both of these brought me to a place where I had to ask myself, “Am I willing to give even more? Am I able to offer up what God is asking of me?”

In Clarkson’s book, she talks about discipling and teaching our children. She offered Jesus as our example, which is fitting since He is our ultimate example in all things.

And how did He invest in and equip His disciples? He was with them all the time.

How did they learn from Him? By walking, talking, experiencing, and processing life together in real time.

Jesus did not allow any distraction to take Him away from all that God had asked Him to do. Despite the temptation, Jesus actively chose whole-hearted life of ministry with His disciples so they might serve the people He had come to save. Is this not the same for me and the little people God has asked me to raise up in the way they should go?

Since becoming a mother, little by little, the Lord has slowly being prying open my closed fists and bringing down the walls of my heart. He’s calling me to give all of myself to Him, for His service.

My Homemaking

During this season of “online disconnection,” God also showed me how much more capable I am of caring for our home than I have allowed myself to be in the past. Not only am I capable but, in a study of Proverbs 31, I saw how in the original language God has called wives to be strong and warrior-like in their task of managing their homes.

Did I mention that not only did I not have the internet, but I didn’t have a dishwasher? 

I saw that all the gadgets that are supposed to free our time up have actually made our lives more complicated (by raising the standard of cleanliness and by allowing that time to be always filled up with activities and stuff-managing).

Without those two “hindrances” in my life, I set up better routines and found that I gained so much satisfaction at the end of the day when I had worked hard with a full and honest heart. I didn’t have the guilt about how I spent my time pressing down on me at the end of a day. It was wonderful.

I saw how truly abundant a simple life can be.

These challenges may not be challenges in your life. You may already be fully present with your children and working hard around your home. But if you aren’t, I want to come alongside you and encourage you – as God has so gently and firmly encouraged me – to evaluate how you are spending your days as a wife, mother, and homemaker.

  • Is the internet (or, something else) causing you to see your family as a distraction?
  • Are you easily annoyed or resentful when your children require a hug, a correction, or a time of play when you’re involved in that particular activity?
  • Is there a place in your heart that you have closed off to the Lord? Are you, in keeping it closed, saying to the Lord, “Yes, Lord, I give you my life – but please let me keep this part all to myself?” Oh yes, I have.

If you are then, just like me, go to your Father in Heaven. Seek His wisdom and His care. Repent and start working on pruning those things out of your life.

As you can see, I have the internet again (and a dishwasher). We are back home and life is back to normal. At times, I have been weak and allowed myself to get sucked back in. But, I deeply want something different for my life – and God has knocked on that closed door so strongly that I cannot shut myself to Him. So I pick myself up when I’ve failed, cry out to the Lord for strength, and keep going.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us throw off every encumbranceand sin which so easily entangles, and let us run with endurance the race set before us.”Hebrews 12:1

In Hebrews 12, we see that it is not just sin that weighs us down and prevents us from living this life for Christ – there are also encumbrances. If you love the Lord, you will look at your own heart and life and throw off what sins and encumbrances are weighing you down and keeping you from loving your God and family well.

Where is God calling you to press deeper into truth? What does it require of you? And are you willing to obey, no matter the cost or “come what may?” Seek Him and He will show you the way. Not only that, He will go with you and give you His strength.

I am proof.


New to this community? Start here friend.

You Don't Have to be a Victim of Your Schedule and Home

Get this FREE 5-step guide to simplify your life so that you can focus on what actually matters.

You will also join 4,100+ other subscribers to receive weekly encouragement to see eternity in your home and to live in its light.

Life is too short and God is too good to live distracted.

accent accent

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.


  1. Marie Mullaney says:

    I am humbled by how Jesus my Good Shepherd guides me through the dark valley’s I travel. I just listened to Heidi St. John’s Podcast where you spoke as her guest today. Its late and I came downstairs to sit with the Lord because my heart was stirring and He was tugging on my heart to just sit and be still and listen to Him. Before opening my Bible to do my Bible study lesson in Romans I quickly jumped on my computer to re-read an article by Francis Havergal “Kept for the Master’s Use”….and jumped onto Heidi’s podcast to listen first….and then I heard your story!…which is MY story too!!!! On a journey to disentangle and throw off the sin that so easily entangles me and all that encumbers me…. oh, and the weight of it!….God has my attention and He won’t let me go….they are keeping me from loving Him with my whole-undistracted heart and loving my family well. Always feeling like I’m not being who He created me to be. Last week He reminded me that the reason “this world and everything under the sun” doesn’t satisfy the deepest longings of my heart is because He has set eternity in my heart and while I know this truth in my heart I have been stagnated by the weight of all the encumbrances I have taken hold of instead of giving myself all to God for His eternal purpose and kingdom. My transformation has begun by the power of the Holy Spirit and I surrender. These are some of my prayers in my prayer journal this week:
    “Thank you God that you have broken the power of sin over me and have given me the power to resist temptation because I am alive in Christ. Thank you God that you provide all I need to whole-heartedly please you with my choices. I pray for holiness of life, set apart, reserved and spent for your glory God. Grant me grace to honor you God by how I live and help me to think of the present with a view to eternity – let all I do be done with, through and for Jesus. Help me to see all things as relating to you God and eternity. God use your Word to strengthen me both in belief and in Christ-like love so I stand firm on issues central to biblical Christianity. Transform my thinking God by your Word, remold my mind, change the pattern of my life to be more like my Lord and Savior, Jesus. Amen. God is so good. He hears my prayers and is answering my cries with such a Shepherd’s heart! Thank you for sharing your heart Katie and pouring courage into mine with the courage our Lord has poured into your heart. Look forward to your future posts and joyful to join you and others on this journey which is “joyful” when we keep our eyes on Jesus our only hope now and for eternity.
    In His pasture,

  2. Mom to four says:

    Thank you for posting this. I am convicted of this. It’s very encouraging.

  3. Christy says:

    This is a huge struggle for me. I have felt so alone in this for the longest time. Children grow so fast and I really want to be the mom God intended me to be. Thank you for this encouraging article!

  4. Mackie says:

    Thanks for sharing! This has something that has been on my heart lately.

  5. Elsie says:

    I love posts like this, that challenge and encourage me to rethink areas of my life that I take for granted. Sometimes we don’t feel at peace about something (like the way we spend our time) but we keep on as we are. However, we DO have the option–maybe even the calling–to explore the cause of our unrest further. And then change!

  6. Cara says:

    This is a great post. I would challenge, however, that Jesus was NOT with his disciples all of the time–he went off on his own to pray when he needed to, and I don’t think God expects mothers to be “on” ALL of the time, either.

  7. Evelyn Edgett says:

    This post was just what I needed today. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *