By contributing writer, Leah Heffner.
On the day we said “I do” we promised to love a moving target for the rest of our lives. To show up, day in and day out, and to choose to love this person. This person who is growing and changing all throughout their lives. While we at the same time are growing and changing.
With our marriages, we’re creating a family. And sometimes that family is the two of us and sometimes that family includes more members with the blessed addition of children.
Jobs change. Homes and locations change. Churches change.
And one thing that can easily slip off our radars is to be thoughtful and intentional in our marriages.
I don’t think any of us mean to be unintentional, to not be thoughtful, to miss an opportunity to show love to our husbands.
But just like being intentional in parenting, intentional in our relationship with the Lord, intentional in our friendships – being intentional in our marriages takes having the tools we need to build habits that will last that keep us being thoughtful and purposefully loving our husbands.
Often we forget it’s the little things – the small, thoughtful habits that build into a lifetime of joy and happiness in our marriages. We miss the forest for the trees, so to speak, looking for the BIG thing that’s going to turn a day around when it could be something small that we can build on.
So what are some small and simple ways to be thoughtful and intentional in our marriages?
3 Simple Ways to Love Your Husband with Purpose
There are so many distractions coming our way on a daily basis. Oftentimes the biggest distraction I face comes from something I can hold in my hand – my phone.
Having phone-free time in your day allows you to be present with the people around you.
Taking that up a notch in your marriage, it gives you the opportunity to be attentive to things both said and unsaid and to just enjoy being with your husband.
Charge your phone in another room. Turn it off from dinner until you have to set your alarm. Make a deal that the first person to reach for their phone has to give the other person a back rub.
I’ve been surprised how often, the deepest, or most connecting, or most delicious times in our marriage have come from simply slowing down and enjoying being with each other, whether we’re having a conversation or just laying in bed together.
It probably wouldn’t take us very long to think of a list of tasks we had not been thanked for. Meals. Dishes. Laundry. Vacuuming. On and on and on.
That’s probably just as true for our husbands.
Make a point to notice the ways he serves your family and others. Taking out the trash. Reading the bedtime books with funny voices. Starting his day early so he can get off early in the afternoon.
And say thank you specifically for those things. Whether that’s a note, a text message, or a face-to-face interaction – saying thank you is amazingly encouraging and affirming.
You know that old expression “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”? It didn’t become an old expression on accident. It’s become go-to wisdom throughout the generations because it’s a great way to remember that we have a choice in how we speak to one another.
When our husbands make a mistake, we can choose how or if we want to point that out to them. When our husbands are struggling with something, we can choose how we comment on that. When our husbands are unkind, we can choose to respond differently than how we were spoken to.
These are all small and simple, but they aren’t easy. And I want to help you walk through it.
This week, Katie and I will be hosting a live workshop called ‘5 Ways to Love Your Husband with Purpose’ where we will talk more about kindness in our marriages, as well as 4 other great habits that help build intentional marriages.
This workshop is Thursday, June 1 at 9 pm EST and will last about an hour. During the hour or so long workshop, we’ll encourage you in your marriage, give you practical ideas for habits you can build, have a Q&A time with Katie and I, as well as do a couple of fun giveaways!
And speaking of giveaways, if you sign up to attend ‘5 Ways to Love Your Husband with Purpose’ you’ll automatically be entered to win a bundle of my new marriage books Intentional Love: 31 Ways to Love Your Husband with Purpose and Intentional Love: 31 Ways to Love Your Wife with Purpose.
We don’t want you to miss the live workshop on June 1 because we love talking with you and answering your questions.
But even if you aren’t sure if you can make it or don’t know if you’ll have all of your kids down for bed in time, go ahead and sign up anyway. Not only will you be entered to win the Intentional Love book bundle, but you’ll also get the replay of the workshop delivered to your email to watch when you do have some time.
We can’t wait for you to join us on to talk about 5 Ways to Love Your Husband with Purpose!
Sign up for the live workshop ‘5 Ways to Love Your Husband with Purpose’ and you’ll automatically be entered to win an Intentional Love
Click here to sign up book bundle! .